March (Parking) Madness: A Clash of Two Disgusting Titans in Brooklyn

This first-round Brooklyn battle includes last year's winner loser. And it may have this year's, too!

March (Parking) Madness fans will recognize last year's champs, the 84th Precinct and its reprehensible commanding officer, Adeel Rana and immediately remember that its inclusion in this year's contest is not merely a fluke of the rules automatically granting entry to the previous year's winner.

The 84th deserves to be here. It is one of the most disrespectful precincts in town.

But its first-round rivals in the 75th Precinct are no slouches, either — they work really hard to make sure their neighbors feel completely disregarded and intimidated by reckless driving, sidewalk parking and overt lawbreaking. But which command has the guts cowardice to advance? You tell us (remember to vote at the bottom!):

The 84th Precinct (Downtown Brooklyn)

This crucial precinct in Downtown Brooklyn has been a source of frustration for street safety advocates for years. The station house itself on Gold Street is surrounded by the illegally parked person vehicles of dozens of police officers, many of whom follow the egregious example of their commanding officer and drive recklessly with impunity.

And not only the side streets are choked with these officers' cars — they park on the exit and entrance ramps of the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway, on the median of Tillary Street, and on any grassy area they can find. They even steal parking from NYCHA residents. Here's a slideshow of that, just to whet your appetite:

The 84th also shares Tillary Street with an FDNY facility, so some of the blame for the disgusting filth of the area goes to New York's "Bravest." But it's the cops who tolerate and encourage and enable the firefighters' transgressions. That even means allowing this jerk to park on the sidewalk and bull bars covering his front plate:

No wonder that guy covers his plate: He has four red-light tickets and one speeding ticket on his record. Perhaps he would have more if he wasn't such a plate-coverer?

The cop-firefighter mutual disrespect society includes this level of chaos, caused by the local smokeaters:

But let's not lose focus. The cops of the 84th Precinct are the real villains here. Beyond the aforementioned sidewalk parking, cops here are miscreants. During our first-round visit last week, we caught the following:

Let's focus on the main problem here: It's just that the cops here have no respect for their neighbors:

Even the commanding officer of the transit unit in the station house drives around with no front plate.

And it's well known that CO Rana has his own problem with safe driving (including three more speeding tickets since we last caught him!). And his cops are following his horrible example. At the 84th, we spotted 56 police officers' cars either parked in the NYPD zone or parked illegally with a placard and:

• 36 had multiple camera-issued speeding or red-light tickets. That's roughly half.
• 12 cops had more than 10 such tickets.
• Beyond that, we found these terrible examples of law enforcement officers:
  • A cop with a defaced plate ... and 15 reckless driving tickets.
  • A cop with a New Jersey plate (partially covered, by the way) ... with seven speeding tickets.
  • A cop stealing parking from NYCHA residents ... with 19 reckless driving tickets.
  • A cop with a fake placard ... and 11 tickets.
  • A cop with 24 speeding tickets and two red-light tickets.
  • A cop with 50 reckless driving tickets.
  • This guy with 15 such tickets and this guy with 16.
  • Another with 45 such tickets!

This much terrible behavior would normally make the 84th Precinct a shoo-in to make it to the borough finals, but this precinct may have met its match in today's challenger...

The 75th Precinct (East New York)

Let's start with something you don't see very often: the officers at the 75th Precinct in East New York apparently don't even like each other. How else can you explain this sticker, which is on poles all over the areas where cops park their personal vehicles:

Beyond that, you see the usual egregious behavior around the 75th Precinct house on Sutter Avenue: combat-parked cars, garbage, covered and defaced plates and reckless driving, but the cops under the command of Inspector Rohan Griffith are just even more egregious. Here's our report:

The first thing you notice at the 75th Precinct is the vast multitude of cops who drive to work every day. The station house has four parking lots, yet there are still dozens of cars combat-parked on Sutter Avenue, which is a bus route that (because of the cops) is frequently blocked. Pedestrians are forced into the street, delivery truckers double park, and the impassible sidewalk is filled with garbage. Here's what it all looks like:

And unlike the 84th Precinct, the cops at the 75th like to leave junked cars from previous cases lying all over the place, one of the great "fuck you's" to the neighborhood:

And the way they block the bus lane is a constant problem:

No wonder peak bus speeds on the B14 route are less than 6 miles per hour on average and waits are longer, according to the MTA's bus dashboard. But why should officers care? After all, they have four nice big parking lots. Here's one:

Because parking lots have big signs forbidding trespassing, we generally leave the cops' cars alone in there ... except when they're visible from the street. In this case, we saw three covered plates, one defaced plate and two out-of-state plates (reminder: cops must live in New York State):

• The cars with covered plates all had bad driving records, including one cop with 32 camera-issued speeding tickets, plus two red-light tickets, and another with 14 speeding tickets since 2019.
• The cop with the defaced plate has 10 reckless driving tickets on his record.

Here's one of the covered plates sitting in plain sight:

Even worse? Two of the 75th Precinct's unmarked cars had bent plates — one of the most over displays of lawlessness possible (you do know the neighbors see that, right?):

Maybe they have a lot to hide? After all, we spotted 40 cars parked in NYPD zones or with placards around the station house, and couldn't believe how badly these cops drive. Eighteen cops had multiple reckless driving tickets. That's not as high a percentage as the 84th, but the four parking lots probably keeps a lot of the worst drivers from the prying eyes of the press.

Bottom line: The garbage and garbage treatment of the neighbors make the 75th Precinct fully deserving of a berth in the borough finals. But, of course, it's up to you! Please vote by Wednesday at 11:59 p.m.