March (Parking) Madness Finals: Who Will Roll The Rock?

Tonight at 8:30 p.m., UConn will tip off against Michigan in the finals of the NCAA’s annual “March Madness” tourney. But why wait for that championship when you can tune into the finals in the most important of the many worthy madness tournaments: Streetsblog’s March (Parking) Madness final pitting two Staten Island commands: the 120th Precinct vs. the 122th Precinct.

First, a word on how each of these semi-finalists got to The Show:

Frankly, the 120th Precinct, commanded by Inspector Eric Waldhelm, skated by in its Final Four contest against the 123rd Precinct in Tottenville — a battle that was more like the Praetorian Guards against the Mayberry Sheriff Department, what with the cops at the St. George precinct reveling in their horrible driving records, their illegal parking and their placard abuse.

Meanwhile, down in Tottenville, Captain Kevin Russell runs a tight ship with no illegal parking, no placard abuse and no outward signs of disrespect to the small-town community at the southern tip of New York State.

Voters overwhelmingly sent the 120th to the finals.

The other semi-final battle was a bit closer: The 121st in Graniteville benefitted from two things: A massive parking lot out back that minimized the normal police parking follies that we see everywhere else, plus a wild turkey that roamed the entrance driveway. The wild turkey should have been the national bird, but even in that snub, its presence at a station house goes a long way towards calming down the voters.

Besides, the 122nd Precinct in Grant City, under the command of Captain Luigi Carrubba, had plenty of marks against it: A row of combat-parked personal vehicles on adjacent Elmtree Avenue, a big pickup truck parked on the sidewalk, and a huge mural by race- and speed-camera-baiting MAGA artist Scott LoBaido on the front façade

Frankly, it wasn’t that bad, but voters chose the 122nd to make it to the finals. So let’s battle:

The 120th vs. the 122nd: Let’s ‘Rock’

The 120th Precinct (St. George)

Waldhelm’s cops are notoriously bad drivers, and it doesn’t seem that the inspector is holding any of his cops accountable to protect people in school zones when they’re off duty. Last time we visited the precinct house, the 40 police officers’ cars parked in precinct parking had an average of 10 speed-camera and red-light tickets.

So that’s where we started this time: This time, we spotted 37 police officers’ personal vehicles parked in NYPD-only parking or parked illegally near the station house with a placard. Of those, 33 cars (that’s 92 percent!) had camera-issued tickets for reckless driving — and of those, 31 had multiple tickets for driving recklessly in school zones or running a red light.

The average number of red-light and speed-camera tickets during this visit was nearly 11 — higher than during the semi-final battle. Waldheim has cops driving around their personal cars with 38 speed-camera tickets and two red-light tickets (JCS2347), with 47 speeding and 10 red-light tickets (EXM3774), and another with 36 speeding and four red-light tickets (LNE1306) — and that driver has more than $660 in outstanding tickets. Waldheim should tow the damn car away.

Beyond the bad driving and illegal parking, Waldstein’s command is also noted for its complete disregard for cyclist safety. First, when we arrived, we couldn’t help but notice two NYPD vans parked in the westbound bike lane on dangerous Richmond Terrace (pictured above). And all the combat parking out completely obliterates the eastbound bike lane as all vehicles must squeeze into a single travel lane:

But all of the egregious behavior that is allowed by Inspector Eric Waldheim going to be enough to earn him the coveted Streetsblog March (Parking) Madness trophy? Let’s see:

The 122nd Precinct (Grant City)

In true, anti-climactic fashion, Captain Carrubba’s cops just did not come to play. Sure, there were a few combat-parked cars on the side street, Elmtree Lane, but the pickup truck owner wasn’t parked on the sidewalk, and the worst driver among the cops who parked their cars in public was a guy with four speeding tickets: one per year. Hardly public enemy number one.

Yes, the LoBaido mural is still hanging on the front of the building, but it’s been there for more than a decade, so one could hardly call it controversial, even though the artist continues to be.

So which precinct will get the trophy? You get to vote: