Friday’s Headlines: Our Editor is Unavailable Edition

It's called the People's Poncho. It's sold to cyclists — you know, people like Orcutt and Komanoff and Kuntzman and Furlong and Gordon and Shepard and Stach and @driversofnyc who bike every day, rain or shine. It's perfectly designed in every way — even has a pouch in the front to hold your phone.

Except...

Our grouchy editor discovered during yesterday's rain storm that the pouch on the People's Poncho isn't waterproof. So that iPhone that he literally just paid off last month? It's so full of water that he's nicknamed it Dasani. So if you're trying to reach the boss, email will be best today.

For now, here's the news from a slow, wet Thursday:

• The mayor announced a new "diversion" program (Wall Street Journal) for homeless people on the subways, but advocates don't really like it. (amNY)
• More controversy for Mayor de Blasio's ferry: Boat captains want to unionize, but their bosses don't want to let them. (Wall Street Journal).
• The Barclays Center station is falling apart. (Gothamist)
• New York Business Journal is the latest outlet to post some pixels about Levy Scooters' very funny video revealing that NYPD officers don't know that scooters are illegal.
• NYPD Commissioner James O'Neill offered his own version of Mayor de Blasio's fact-free objection to e-bikes and e-scooters. (WCBS)
• Hey, Channel 2 news: The 1980s called and it wants its anti-bike-lane/pro-car headline back.
• In case you missed it, New York League of Conservation Voters President Julie Tighe penned an op-ed in Crain's in favor of a state bill legalizing e-bikes and e-scooters.
• Also in case you missed it, the Times did a nice story about the long-distance-riding Brooklyn Red Caps.
• And, finally, McSweeney's (of all places) offered the greatest version of a community board speech by a NIMBY that we have ever read.

Andy Byford was at a TransitCenter event last night, talking about his new Bronx bus network. Our own Julianne Cuba was there — and she'll have a full story this morning (right, Julianne?). Check back for that and other updates all day long. And have a great weekend.