A single tweet on Tuesday by longtime outdoors writer Peter Flax has set off a debate about what it means to be a cyclist who bikes and plays well with others. Or doesn’t.

And it’s the subject of today’s installment of “How We Talk About Ourselves When We Think No One Else Is Listening.” First, the tweet heard ’round the world:

I'm not a big fan of rules of cyclists, but for those who ride in cities the number one rule is that pedestrians always get the right of way. Number two is do what you need to do to stay safe. After that I'd say there are no more rules worth listing.

— Peter Flax (@Pflax1) July 31, 2018

Do we all have such “rules” in our head? And are there only two, as Flax suggested? Fortunately, the Internet was on top of it.

“3rd rule is don’t be a jerk?” added @VannevarB, but that didn’t satisfy Flax.

I think that's a good idea but maybe it's too subjective to be a rule? Sometimes to make myself safe, I intentionally piss someone off. I have my own code of conduct, and care about being a good citizen, but some drivers think I'm a jerk at times.

— Peter Flax (@Pflax1) July 31, 2018

Something about “being a jerk” and pissing off others didn’t make everyone in the cycling community feel completely comfortable.

My modification to "Don't be a jerk" would be "Don't impact other people's ability to get home safely," which I think would cover situations like taking the lane or riding (carefully!) on the sidewalk (eg slowing drivers down might be annoying, but shouldn't impact their safety)

— Bike Commuting NYC (@driversofnyc) July 31, 2018

Which Peter Krupa dubbed the “don’t be an asshole” rule.

for me it goes
1) be safe
2) don't be an asshole
3) get where you're going as quickly as possible
4) follow the law

… ranked in that order. more like principles than rules, i guess.

— Peter Krupa ? (@peterkrupa) July 31, 2018

But even “safety” is subjective. Flax suggested that should we “assert” ourselves in traffic, but others weren’t so sure.

…and sometimes to be safe, you have to really assert yourself with cars and trucks.

— Peter Flax (@Pflax1) July 31, 2018

And then, inevitably, the entire debate got derailed by a driver who just had to toss a stink bomb into the whole thing.

Hmm ? I wonder what people in cars think about entitlement

— armchair flaneur (@FlannelBidon) July 31, 2018

Which started its own debate…

Nope that is a lie. Roads are built with funds from taxpayers to be used for transportation. Bikes, pedestrians, cars, tractors, etc.

Pretending roads are just for cars is "entitlement to the nth degree"

— Race Radio (@TheRaceRadio) July 31, 2018

Wrong again. So much entitlement…… so little knowledge.

— Race Radio (@TheRaceRadio) July 31, 2018

…Which gets us back where Flax started: Yield to pedestrians and do what you need to do to get home safely. Obviously, drivers don’t care about us.