Skip to Content
Streetsblog New York City home
Streetsblog New York City home
Log In
NYPD

Cop to Central Park Cyclists: Your Safety Matters Less Than a Squirrel’s

Let's say someone who's tired of cars in Central Park decides to hammer nails through some planks and place them on the park drives. Tires are punctured and a few rear-end collisions cause minor injuries. Would NYPD be as flip as the officer quoted in today's Post story on the vandal (or vandals) who scattered tacks in the path of park cyclists?

One of the riders reported the carnage to the Central Park Precinct and cops promised to investigate -- but sources said there was no official paperwork.

"We have more important things to worry about, like people getting shot and squirrels getting run over,” said one cop. “A flat tire is not the crime of the century."

To summarize: If you're a motorist whose car is touched by a pedestrian or cyclist whom you almost run over, NYPD is at your service. If you're a cyclist who crashes to the pavement because of a malicious malcontent, cops are otherwise occupied seeking justice for dead squirrels.

Perhaps the department's Accident Investigation Squad could use a new handle. Assisting Injured Squirrels? Already Investigating Squirrels?

Nice to know they're investigating something.

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from Streetsblog New York City

Friday’s Headlines: Canal Street Follies Edition

Manhattan Borough President Mark Levine isn't happy. Plus other news.

April 26, 2024

Community Board Wants Protected Bike Lane on Empire Blvd.

Brooklyn Community Board 9 wants city to upgrade Empire Boulevard's frequently blocked bike lane, which serves as a gateway to Prospect Park.

April 26, 2024

The Brake: Why We Can’t End Violence on Transit With More Police

Are more cops the answer to violence against transit workers, or is it only driving societal tensions that make attacks more frequent?

April 26, 2024

Report: Road Violence Hits Record in First Quarter of 2024

Sixty people died in the first three months of the year, 50 percent more than the first quarter of 2018, which was the safest opening three months of any Vision Zero year.

April 25, 2024
See all posts