Skip to Content
Streetsblog New York City home
Log In
Ad Nauseam

Ad Nauseam: Auto Zone, or Twilight Zone?

2:46 PM EDT on June 20, 2008

This Auto Zone ad is one for the ages. The dark ages.

A young guy, who looks all of 17, is riding his bike down a rural dirt road when he comes upon an abandoned mid-1970s Ford Torino. A sign on the window reads, "if you can fix her you can have her." The kid smiles, the can-do soft guitar rock kicks in, and off he rides to Auto Zone. Again and again.

"It basically took me the whole summer," the voice over says, "and I don't know how many times I needed to go to Auto Zone. But, at least now when I go, it's not on my bike." 

The final scene shows the same road, but this time the clunker is barreling down it, kicking up a cloud of dust and, in all probability, smoke from the exhaust. (Since we're to assume the kid did all the repairs by the roadside, he could not have removed the engine block to replace the seals and gaskets, and there's no way that car isn't burning oil. Hence: tailpipe smoke.)

What we don't see is what happens next. The kid starts making a lot more trips to Auto Zone, because since he got a "free" car he had to take on a job just to pay for repairs and gas (the Torino, in its day, averaged about 10 miles to the gallon). And that smoke? Well, the damn thing didn't pass the state emissions test, so instead of sinking $1,500 into an engine rebuild and a new exhaust system -- thereby exceeding the car's value by approximately $1,500 -- the kid left the Torino where he found it. He still sees it every day, as he rides his bike to and from work. Every now and then he spits on it.

Video: jakeogden7/YouTube

Stay in touch

Sign up for our free newsletter

More from Streetsblog New York City

Police Brass Gets Booed During E-Vehicle Safety Alliance Meeting for Applauding Deliveristas

Attendees of the E-Vehicle Safety Alliance's latest meeting castigated a Transportation Bureau deputy inspector for saying that delivery workers are responsive to safety issues.

September 28, 2023

Thursday’s Headlines: Unsafe School Streets Edition

A school crossing guard was injured by a drunk driver on Tuesday. Plus more news.

September 28, 2023

EYES ON THE STREET: Drivers Dominate Former W. 22nd Open Street

Meh. The barriers are gone and the cars are back on W. 22nd, but some spaces for people remain.

September 28, 2023

‘Not Grieving Alone’: A Father’s Artistic Journey After Losing Two Kids to Road Violence

Colin Campbell and his wife Gail Lerner lost both their children in a car crash with impaired driver. Now, it's a show.

September 28, 2023

Opinion: Bring Back ‘Give Respect/Get Respect’ Campaign

If cyclists don't throw their own bad apples under the bus, we won't get safer streets, argues this West Side advocate.

September 27, 2023
See all posts