Caption Contest: DOT Guy


  • Dr. Primeggia says dat, in his engineering judgement, smoking is da best way to increase lung capacity.

  • “Dang! I wish the DOT would do something about this f***in traffic!”

    “My other car is a herse”

    “Please love me and my caveman arms.”

    “Is it 5 PM yet so I can get in my laps in around the Park?”

  • anon

    you gotta love Iris’s new incentive program. Only 6,000 more miles and i get a promotion

  • “Like I always says, “smoke’em if you got’em; drive’em if you can.”

  • wiley

    “So I says to Iris, I says, ‘Iris, if the two packs a day don’t kill me, why sweat about the three tanks of secondhand exhaust?'”

  • Hey, I’m smokin’ here!!!

  • what does the dot have to say about the incident regarding the young filmmaker biking to work, and was killed. The DOT every project they do takes em forever there worse than the New York City Board of Ed!

  • What you lookin’ at, Communist?

  • Rachel

    Hey! That metal construction plate is only 2 inches high! You know DOT regs say at least three.

    *Cough, cough, hack!*

  • What does 34th Street have in common with my lungs? Dey is both Level of Service D.

  • Snetty

    “DOT is the Philip Morris of the New York City streetscape.”

    or, for the anagramatically inclined:

    “DOT : New York City Streetscape :: Philip Morris : Your Lungs”

  • “Protected bike lanes are a human rights issue… Sidewalks are relatives of parks, not streets… Eh, bite me!”

  • Ken

    “If you can’t be part of the solution, be part of the problem!”

  • “hey sweety, want a ride? we’ll go hit hobos in the park.”


  • ah, drivin’ and smokin’.
    if i was honkin’, dis would be da best.

  • Snetty

    I got yer bollard right here!

  • Lena K

    Secretly, I like traffic.

  • Hey I think that’s the DOT guy that shows up at the CB 8 transportation meetings. Mostly stays quiet unless they have an annoucement about how they are valiently making every effort to move as many cars as fast as possible through our neighborhood to prevent them from honking or actually stopping and contributing to the local economy.

    Love the photo!

  • Mike

    DOT worker heads out for a cigarette break.

  • Mike

    DOT employee heads to corner deli for a pack of cigarettes.

  • molebiter

    “I also left some toast burning in the toaster for the trifecta.”

    “Hey you — get yer bloody carcass off my hood!”

    “Subway, God no; you can’t smoke on the subway.”

  • Cliff

    “Keep my eyes on the road? Why, what’s there?”

  • John T. Chiarella

    Multitasking for job security! I don’t fix traffic. I AM traffic! NO TRAFFIC = NO JOB. I’m in no hurry to solve any problems. > Between the tailpipe on this DOT P.O.S. and 20 cigarettes a day, I’m also doing my part to pollute the air.

  • Hypnoserve

    Hey, DOT’s my friend. Lay offa him.

  • J. Orzeck

    Even tobacco-addicted civil servants need love!

  • Don’t take it personally, DOT Guy! The Caption Contest reduces you from a thinking, feeling human being to a symbol of the BUREAUCRACY. It is cruel and unfair and sort of fun too.


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