Thursday’s Headlines: March (Parking) Madness Trophy Ceremony Edition

The climax of our annual March (Parking) Madness competition is the awarding of the coveted trophy to the precinct that our readers chose as the most disrespectful to its neighbors.

This year, we had a competition in name only as the 120th Precinct of Staten Island trounced the other three precincts on The Rock to win the crown. During their two preliminary battles, Inspector Eric Waldhelm’s cops showed themselves to be true parking madness champions: they park wherever the fuck they want, they drive their personal vehicles with abject disregard for their neighbors, they block Richmond Terrace with their combat-parked squad cars, and they even have their own traffic rules:

So on Wednesday, I headed out to the station house to present Waldhelm with his trophy. It’s worth noting that no precinct commander has ever actually accepted the Streetsblog trophy in the past, but we were hopeful. Here’s how it all went down in another edition of Gersh Kuntzman’s “Old Man Vertical” (with music by Jimmy and the Jaywalkers):

In other news:

• Talk about old man vertical! “Gridlock” Sam Schwartz’s column yesterday had people losing their shit. Listen, Schwartz is a bona-fide expert and it’s important to listen when bona-fide experts raise reasonable concerns about a new technology. Lest we forget, we could have really used him 110 years ago when Henry Ford and his ilk unleashed a terrible new technology on our cities, ruining them forever. Engagement Editor Emily Lipstein discussed the issue in a must-read thread (to get the full freakout, click here):

• Free buses are likely not going to happen this year, but the mayor says he is still committed to his signature campaign issue. (Politico)
• The Post is right to bemoan the Mamdani administration’s ban on street and parks events during the World Cup, but the raging paper chose the wrong framing. The problem isn’t that Mayor Mamdani hates the police and won’t hire more — it’s that the NYPD believes so many cops are needed to police every frickin’ block party. Regional Plan Association had the right take.
• The pro-car, anti-bike crowd is often filling our DMs and replies saying that the NYPD doesn’t do anything against illegal mopeds. And once again, that crowd is wrong, as the 68th Precinct again pointed out on X.
• Brainless tabloid suddenly realizes the Fulton Street station connects multiple lines, requiring slightly longer-than-average transfer distances. (NY Post)
• Speaking of America’s oligarchy puppet show, there is not a single exploitive, unsustainable business model deployed by the billionaire class that the NY Post won’t champion … in the name of the working class. Meanwhile, Streetsblog has been covering Council Member Tiffany Caban’s Delivery Protection Act far more insightfully.
• Speaking of predatory apps, we had an early look at Mayor Mamdani’s new effort to hold delivery companies accountable, which amNY followed.
• The city needs more housing, but Staten Islanders only care about parking. (SI Advance)
• Hell Gate didn’t love the new toilet-less deliverista hub either!
• Transit workers are ratcheting up the LIRR strike talk. (Gothamist)
• Gov. Hochul got a free hit on President Trump, calling out the president’s hypocrisy for supporting a toll in the Strait of Hormuz, but not at 59th Street. (NYDN)