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Friday’s Headlines: Zonked and Zonked Edition

Don’t do this if you don’t have to! Photo: Eve Kessler

With our grizzled editor still out of commission and zonked on painkillers, we’re zonked from holding down the fort all day. So let’s just get right to the headlines:

    • Mayor de Blasio is pulling a Muriel Bowser, trolling President Trump with a declaration that he will paint “Black Lives Matter” in big yellow letters on Fifth Avenue in front of Trump Tower, just as Mayor Bowser did on 16th Street in Washington. It’s a nice symbolic gesture. But if you are going to go the paint route to appreciate black and brown lives, how about more red paint for busways, Mr. Mayor?
    • de Blasio is so anti-car that he and Polly Trottenberg are going to make all the open streets permanent, warns Staten Island Advance columnist Tom Wrobleski. Um, this is the mayor who this week announced he is scaling back alternate-side parking rules in order to lighten the burden on car-owners, but from your mouth to God’s ear, Tom! 
    • The city’s criminal-justice system “is imploding,” Police Commissioner Shea told reporters, citing the recent rise in shootings and murders. Translation: “Don’t let them cut our budget!” (NYP, NYDN).
    • An MTA worker used alliteration in faulting both a female passenger and the governor for urging him to wear a mask (NYP).
    • NYC airports to travelers from coronavirus capitals: Go home stranger! (NYDN).
    • A $20 congestion toll would cut Midtown traffic by 40 percent, a Cornell University study estimates (AMNY).
    • The MTA will rename two Brooklyn subway stations in honor of Medgar Evers College (Gothamist). 
    • And, finally, our brief, traffic-free coronavirus interregnum taught us a whole lot about climate change (NYT).

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