Yesterday we noted how it took a cyclist-involved collision to get the Daily News riled up over pedestrian fatalities. Regaining its senses, the paper today again turns its attention to the real victims: motorists. Specifically those who park illegally and are indiscriminately ticketed for doing so.

Bronx business owners say parking agents are harassing customers and hindering revenue, and are demanding action from electeds and calling for an investigation by Public Advocate Betsy Gotbaum. Says Margaret Arrighi, head of the Bronx Business Alliance: "They wait for you to park. They come up from behind, like a tiger waiting for its prey."

According to the News, the animalistic stalkers have even killed.

In the interest of "on the other hand" journalism, even murderous thugs deserve a sentence in their defense. Here it is:

But back to the crisis at hand. Included in the News exposé is a handy sidebar (above) with suggestions on how to beat a parking ticket. Note that the final tip is from Gotbaum's office. That's right: so serious is the problem of ticketing for illegal parking that the city's public advocate is now issuing advice on how to escape it. (Eggheaded twits might suggest that variable-rate parking would be a fairer, more efficient solution, but now is the time for action, not ideas.)

If all else fails, we suggest invoking the method preferred by that of infamous defender of motorist privilege, State Senator Jeff Klein: "Get your hands off my car, you fucking asshole."