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March (Parking) Madness: Bash at the Beach

11:32 AM EDT on March 17, 2023

Bash at the beach. That’s a good headline. Photos: Dave Colon

This is the seventh first-round battle in our March (Parking) Madness contest. In our earlier bouts, sidewalk-hogging 71st Precinct in Crown Heights beat its colleagues in Bath Beach, the 43rd Precinct of Soundview advanced in its first-round matchup in the Bronx, the Midtown South Precinct triumphed over its neighbor to the north in our epic Battle of Midtown, and the 47th beat the the 49th in the Bronx; the 75th Precinct, a repulsive newcomer, won our other Brooklyn battle; and the 26th Precinct beat the Ninth Precinct in Manhattan. Scroll to the bottom of this post to see the bracket as it currently stands and to vote (!). Polls will remain open until Monday night at 11:59 p.m.

Today's competition is a beach-side battle pitting the Rockaway peninsula's two precincts against each other. Befitting the good vibes of the nearby beach, the entire experience was pretty chill, save for a burned-out car getting its own parking spot for some reason.

Let's hit the beach:

100th Precinct (Rockaway Beach)

At the 100th Precinct in Rockaway, there was a sight one would think was brought on by drinking too many of nearby Connolly's frozen drinks: no one parked illegally at all. No cars parked combat style on the curb, no cars blocking the sidewalk for no reason, not even any cars parked in the Beach 94th Street bike lane connecting the Cross Bay Bridge to the beach.

What's the secret? Seems like the ample parking directly across the street from the precinct building and all the way down the block.

The view from the parking lot.
The view from the parking lot.
The view from the parking lot.

Next to the station house, police cars were parked orderly and normally, and the beach buggies were tucked into a corner of the precinct's space. All in all, just a normal time at the beach.

So kudos to Deputy Inspector Carlos Fabara. Your reward for your officers not parking up and down the sidewalk will be ... most likely not moving on to the Queens borough finals of this tournament.

101st Precinct (Far Rockaway)

At the southeast edge of New York City, at the end of the A train, near the one LIRR station in the city that isn't eligible for the discount City Ticket, there is a precinct house.

At that precinct house, no one seems to park his or her own personal cars on the sidewalk like you find at some of the more egregiously disrespectful precincts in the city (looking at you, 75th Precinct). But you do find Captain Timothy Schultz's officers parking their official police vehicles pretty brazenly on the sidewalk or in the middle of a crosswalk.

But the residential blocks surrounding the station house were otherwise clear of covered or defaced plates, placard abuse or other unprofessional behavior. There was one sedan we found parked in the middle of the sidewalk with a placard on the dashboard and a handful of speed camera tickets through the years, since every precinct needs to have at least one of these officers (or many many more — looking at you, 84th Precinct!).

Really?
Really?
Really?

Also there was the traditional "burned out car stored out in the open" right by the 101st house, a fun addition to many precincts that never seem to take a lot of care with totaled vehicles under their care. There's no other way to describe this: It's just garbage left out to rot — and a total disrespect for the community:

Why?
Why?
Why?

So which precinct deserves to advance to the Queens borough final? It's time to vote!

The contest so far.
The contest so far.
The contest so far.

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