Monday’s Headlines: Go Fourth and Skip Today’s Headlines Edition

fireworks with declaration

We’re taking today off because the nation is celebrating its secession from the British crown, but we’ll spend it re-reading the Declaration of Independence for a reminder.

When you’re done with that, check out the Julianne Cuba story we posted yesterday about how delivery workers did not cause any statistically significant mayhem during Grubhub’s “free lunch” day in May. The chaos, apparently, was limited to the kitchen.

We’ll be back tomorrow with a full slate of news that we ripped off from everyone else.

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