Monday’s Headlines: This is Not a Normal Cold Edition

Our old man editor has been coughing for two weeks now. His doctor told him a week ago that he had a normal, non-coronavirus virus that would "run" its "course." Which it hasn't. So he's still coughing.

At his age, he's no doubt wondering what's going on — whether he's just suffering routine slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or if the mortal coil is shuffling him off. (That's a "Hamlet" reference, which explains how old he feels when he gets sick.)

In any event, he'll be on the bike again today, with weather expected to be nice and a job needing to be done. Here's all the news to get you set up for today:

• The Post did another of its periodic deep dives on Mayor de Blasio's drive-to-the-gym regimen. Like the mayor or not, his morning routine is a bad look. On the other hand, being mayor isn't a 9-to-5 job.
• Cops initially offered very few details about a fatal hit-and-run of a pedestrian in Bensonhurst on Sunday (NYDN, NY Post, amNY), but later put out a video of the driver they're seeking (Streetsblog). And there was more car carnage on the Bronx River Parkway on Sunday (NY Post), and a struck pedestrian on the Upper West Side on Saturday (NY Post).
• Comptroller Scott Stringer is demanding that the city play its long-promised role in making sure massive cruise ships are at least green when in port. (NYDN)
• Friday was Train Daddy's last day on the job, so many outlets rode along as Andy Byford said farewell to his fans (and the fact that Byford even had fans shows what a colossal mistake Gov. Cuomo has made in letting him go). (NYT, Gothamist)
• Christopher Robbins did a nice explainer on the current congestion pricing mess (which also subtly makes Gov. Cuomo look bad). (Gothamist)
• E-bike riders are being robbed — at knifepoint! — for their souped-up rides. Cops at the enlightened 19th Precinct have been warning delivery workers to be aware (which is an irony, given that cops are often busting the very same workers under orders from Mayor de Blasio). (NYDN)
• In case you missed it, a woman was hit by a car driver on treacherous Canal Street on Friday. Scootercaster had video, and @GoodNYCMayor filled in for the real (but silent) @NYCMayor on Twitter.
• Last week's multi-car pileup in Park Slope was due to a drag race — and the Brooklyn Paper has the footage.
• An off-duty cop was arrested for drunk driving. (NY Post)
• Here's some well-deserved honors for legendary newsman and the city's resident Weegee, Todd Maisel, now at amNY.
• And, finally, Streetsblog Publisher Mark Gorton was enjoying a nice day yesterday — until these jerks showed up with their fancy car:

Which prompted Dutch people to respond with the perfect solution: