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We're back!
The Streetsblog Carolers returned for their annual tradition, now in its second year, of belting out mirthful street-safety satires at Gracie Mansion on Tuesday night. With Mayor de Blasio on hand (albeit inside where it was warm), the team of Streetsbloggers Dave Colon Julianne Cuba and Gersh Kuntzman were joined by returning carolers Melodie Bryant, Jessame Hannus, Leslie Merlin, Reed Rubey and Angela Stach to perform some instant classics (under the musical direction of Ric Becker, as always).
All the videos and lyrics are below.
So give a listen and read along. Yule be so excited.
My Most-Hated Things
Cops busting women who sell gum and churros High ranking cops who are stubborn like burros Squad cars in bike lanes lined up in a string These are a few of my most-hated things
Filthy rich neighbors with blue in their blood veins Suing the city to stop safety bike lanes People who fear what more biking can bring They are a few of my most-hated things
When I’m angry Or feel let down Or I pay my tax I simply remember my most-hated things And blame the elected hacks.
Governor Cuomo berates Andy Byford Albany game-playing more dumb than absurd Riders just want better transit that zings These are a few of my most hated things.
All of the students walking to their classes Are dodging drivers emitting those gases Kids should not worry about anything But to be safe they would need to wear wings
When I’m angry Or I’m let down By this City Hall I simply remember my most-hated things And once again feel … appalled.
Corey Johnson’s Master Plan
Corey Johnson’s Master Plan Will make our streets safer The mayor says that he’s on board Or, wait, did we mishear? Breaking the car culture, he says that he wants If you want to drive, you should move to Larchmont
And while we are building More glorious car-free zones Walk as you please, there’s no need for unease And we’ll finally reduce broken bones. Walk as you please, there’s no need for unease And we’ll finally reduce broken bones.
Oh, Corey Johnson has a plan To make roadways calmer Fewer crashes mean that we can fire the embalmer We can fix our city and make it all grand Put away the shovels and mournful armbands.
And while we are building More glorious car-free zones Walk as you please, there’s no need for unease And we’ll finally reduce broken bones. Walk as you please, there’s no need for unease And we’ll finally reduce broken bones.
Will de Blasio Keep Us Safe This Christmas?
Will de Blasio keep us safe this Christmas? Sidewalks jammed and packed Tourists line up to see the tree Crammed in anxiously A total car ban he should now enact.
Why is driving allowed at Christmas? Take the Brooklyn Bridge Six lanes are for motorists While pedestrians are pissed Move it over a smidge?
It's another depressing time of Christmas Thanks to our mayor Out of towners are left in shock Walking through gridlock Getting around should not require prayers.
Why is driving allowed at Christmas? Take the Brooklyn Bridge Six lanes are for motorists While pedestrians are pissed Move it over a smidge?
Let Him Go
Oh, Commiss’ner O’Neill’s retiring And kind words, he ain’t inspiring We have no real praise to bestow. Let him go, let him go, let him go.
There’s simply no way to abide Ticketing bikers after one has died The mayor never told him no Let him go, let him go, let him go.
If he really had done his job Cars would have been a central mission But his cops are a reckless mob It’s not like it’s nuclear fission.
So, Commish’ner O’Neill, please leave us You did little more than aggrieve us Your successes we just don't know. Let him go, let him go, let him go. LET HIM GO, LET HIM GO, LET HIM GO!
The Busway Works
Riding on a bus (In the) city of New York (Would) always make you cuss Or scream like Mickey Roarke.
But now on 14th Street The buses must come first And the cars must stay away At last things are reversed!
The busway works Busway works (The) busway is a hit! Oh what fun to know that Arthur Schwartz is eating shit.
(The) busway’s great Busway’s great (The) busway we adore! There’s no better way crosstown Please give us many more.
There was a courtroom fight Some Villagers had jeered Said cars would be a blight On streets that they lived near But they were very wrong Side streets are just fine Cars have moved along Their suit is a punchline.
The busway works Busway works (The) busway is a hit! Oh what fun to know that Arthur Schwartz is eating shit.
(The) busway’s great Busway’s great (The) busway we adore! There’s no bet-ter way crosstown Please give us many more!
The busway works Busway works (The) busway is a hit! Oh what fun to know that Arthur Schwartz is eating shit.
(The) busway’s great Busway’s great (The) busway we adore! There’s no bet-ter way crosstown Please give us many more!
"I really would think that our mayor would be a little bit more active and speak with us, because he hasn't really made any time with riders. We're not the enemy. We just want better bus service."
Justin Sherwood and his lawyer will pocket $152,000 to settle his federal civil rights suit against the city and several officers who harassed him following his 311 calls.