America to the Automobile: “It’s Over”

4:30 PM EDT on March 20, 2008

In honor of this year's New York International Auto Show, which officially begins tomorrow, we present this very special announcement:

Ms. America to Announce “The End of the Affair” at the NY Auto Show

**Saturday, March 22**
10:30 a.m.
Jacob Javits Center

After 100 years, Lady Liberty, the perennial Ms. America, is finally ending her
“spectacularly combustible love affair” with the automobile

New York, NY — All things must come to an end, and so apparently it now is for America’s love affair with the automobile. Swept off her feet more than 100 years ago with promises of freedom, comfort and status, Ms. America has now had a change of heart. “The oil addiction, the misguided foreign affairs, the skyrocketing bills… it’s just gotten to be too much,” said Lady Liberty in a recent statement.

Lady Liberty will formally announce her break up -- and her big plans for the future -- at the NY International Auto Show on Friday, March 21st at 10:30 a.m. Reverend Billy will be present to both annul her current “dysfunctional” marriage, and will also be on hand to wed Ms. Liberty to not one but three suitors who have been vying for her affection for the past several decades: Walking, Bicycling and Mass Transit.

“I’m just ready for a change,” says Lady Liberty, "and frankly, this relationship has just gotten to be much more work than it's worth. My health, liberty and freedom have suffered greatly, and now I hope that my new relationships will finally give me security and happiness.”

CARtoon by Andy Singer, who recently paid a visit to the Minneapolis & St. Paul International Auto Show, along with "Roadkill Bill" Ken Avidor.

Brad Aaron

Brad Aaron began writing for Streetsblog in 2007, after years as a reporter, editor, and publisher in the alternative weekly business. Brad adopted New York's dysfunctional traffic justice system as his primary beat for Streetsblog. He lives in Manhattan.

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