NYPD Arrests 7,000 Cops in Overnight Crackdown on Placard Abusers

An NYPD officer is arrested by his comrades in a pre-dawn raid that netted 7,000 placard-abusing cops.
An NYPD officer is arrested by his comrades in a pre-dawn raid that netted 7,000 placard-abusing cops.

Please note: This story, posted at 12:01 a.m. on April 1, was an April Fool’s satire.

Thousands of police officers were rounded up and arrested in overnight raids as the NYPD finally moved against cops who abuse their parking privileges.

NYPD Commissioner James O’Neill ordered the round-up after an internal review revealed that every single NYPD officer had been found to have illegally parked with a department-issued placard.

“Enough is enough,” O’Neill said early Monday, April 1. “Today, we have sent a message that we will arrest cops who park illegally all over the place with no regard for their communities, you know, on sidewalks or in ‘No standing’ zones, or in bike lanes, which is pretty much every cop.”

Here's another officer who was apprehended for his parking.
Here’s another officer who was apprehended for his parking.

O’Neill initially ordered his subordinates to arrest every cop who had been found to have parked illegally in the last 12 months, but he had to backtrack and focus on the worst offenders when he was told that there would be no cops left.

Mayor de Blasio excused the arrested officers’ behavior, reiterating that police officers often drive long distances and work long hours for the city.

“These people are heroes,” the mayor said. “Heroes who should be able to park wherever they want.”

  • Nicholas L

    Can we at least use the 311 app to report them? I think so!

  • dbs

    brilliant article! and this morning the first police officer has come forward to agree with the fact that placard abuse creates one of the most obvious double standards of permissible law-breaking throughout the city, not to mention makes our public transportation system less important to our bureaucrats. and i just saw a monkey fly by the window! wow. happy day.

  • jaxbot

    Yes but they’ll just say ‘no violation observed’

  • lonianncarusso

    Perfect! What took you so long? Nobody is above the law. NYPD must obey and not abuse placards. O’NEILL cheers to you! Way to go! That is the BEST thing that happened. It had to be done.
    Keep up the good work and continue to arrest the abusers! Cheers!

  • lonianncarusso

    That would be good. In fact they might need another seperate line to bust all of them!

  • Joe R.

    If only these April Fool’s headlines were true.

  • AMH

    Why is the big red disclaimer necessary when the headline is so obviously fake? Really detracts from the fun of April 1.


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