We all know the old novelty song, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" — but what if it actually happened?
Well, in this city, with this police force, that would mean immediately absolving the reindeer because, as you well know, drivers are almost never held accountable for killing people with their cars (as long as they weren't drunk or driving with a suspended license).
And then, the investigating officers would contort themselves into blue-clad pretzels in hopes of finding something that the victim did "wrong" in the seconds before he or she was run over. In this case, New York's Finest would speculate that Grandma caused her own death because she was drinking too much egg nog.
Sure, maybe she had consumed a bit too much of the Christmas spirit — but if the Department of Transportation had designed roadways better, Grandma would have had longer crossing times and shorter crossing distances so she could get home safely whether she was drunk or sober.
In other words, our editorial cartoonist Bill Roundy has done it again!
All of Bill Roundy's cartoons are archived here.
