Today’s Carnage Brought to You By…

Yesterday, a 9-year-old Brooklyn boy was run down in the street while on his way home from school. The 16-year-old driver, Shyquan Burns, was behind the wheel of a souped-up Dodge Charger. Witnesses say Burns, who fled the scene but later turned himself into police, was speeding. The victim, Akeem Suluki, was in critical condition as of this morning and had not regained consciousness since being hit.

Above is the unfortunate product placement accompanying the New York Times write-up of the collision. After the jump is the Post's, whose software might be smart enough to link a Chrysler ad with an article that mentions a Dodge, but isn't so advanced as to recognize words like "hit" or "thrown," or phrases like "collapsed lung" and "bleeding on the brain."