Cop to Central Park Cyclists: Your Safety Matters Less Than a Squirrel’s

Let’s say someone who’s tired of cars in Central Park decides to hammer nails through some planks and place them on the park drives. Tires are punctured and a few rear-end collisions cause minor injuries. Would NYPD be as flip as the officer quoted in today’s Post story on the vandal (or vandals) who scattered tacks in the path of park cyclists?

One of the riders reported the carnage to the Central Park Precinct and cops promised to investigate — but sources said there was no official paperwork.

“We have more important things to worry about, like people getting shot and squirrels getting run over,” said one cop. “A flat tire is not the crime of the century.”

To summarize: If you’re a motorist whose car is touched by a pedestrian or cyclist whom you almost run over, NYPD is at your service. If you’re a cyclist who crashes to the pavement because of a malicious malcontent, cops are otherwise occupied seeking justice for dead squirrels.

Perhaps the department’s Accident Investigation Squad could use a new handle. Assisting Injured Squirrels? Already Investigating Squirrels?

Nice to know they’re investigating something.

  • Anonymous

    Sorry, I can’t read andy Streetsblog today.  I’m too busy in the comments section of that Post article.  Once more unto the breach!

  • AC

    cars are more expensive than bikes. unless you have one of those cool Colnago bikes that’s carbon fiber everything like people i used to know

  • Anonymous


    You’re a brave man. 

  • Guest

    boo effing hoo. a cop made a joke.

  • SGreenberg

    And what would the police say if they were tacks big enough to cause car tire blowouts and accidents?

  • Guest1111

    NYPD is busy investigating someone who bumped into a little girl with an ice cream cone whose treat fell from her hands.  The DNA is a match to the OWS people who chained open the subway doors earlier this year.

  • Anonymous

    The DNA is a match to the lab technician.

    What, you didn’t read the correction in the NY Post?

    But keep living in your den of hate. 

  • Guest

    @JarekAF:disqus , I think @c879d57abab80c75fd4f384b3ac05966:disqus was making a joke that you misunderstood…

    As for other @abb249055208c7af4d35568e422dfd63:disqus , I don’t mind jokes, but I refuse to accept that the NYPD officers I pay with my taxes making jokes about victims instead of helping them.  I expect them to do the job they are paid to do.  

    We’re not paying them to be a comedy troup.  If that were their job, they should be fired, because they’re just not funny.  Come to think of it, more than a few of them should be fired anyway, since they so often seem to cause more public hazards than they resolve.

  • Station44025

    Ha ha! ++

  • typical response from stupid fat pigs. 

  • Anonymous

    Love the quote in that story:

    “Cyclists are very self-entitled. They come cruising by and almost hit you, and if you say something they say something back.” They don’t hit you with their bikes, and then they SAY SOMETHING BACK!  The NERVE of those cyclists!

  • moocow

    The squirrels know where Osama bin Laden is. And NYPD is hot on his trail, any day now, they’re gonna catch him.

  • Good stuff. Funny. I guess it’s ok for the cops to joke. When I lie down a tack-strip and cars get flats I will laugh as well. Oh, that is not funny? Douchebags. 

  • Anonymous

    Now the tacky terrorists are after the Tour de France!

    There were no squirrel comments from the French police in the NYT report.

  • Joe R.

    @qrt145:disqus You beat me to it. I was thinking the exact same thing when I watched the Tour today.

  • Smonigold

    if bicyclist would be more respectfull to pedestrians and autos they would have less problems. just because you ware those outfits does not mean you can ride 2 or 3 wide and and everybody has to make room for YOU. if you play chicken with cars you will lose.

  • sdn

    How about the “Assisting Squirrel Squad”?

  • Anonymous

    If somebody was threatening the NYC donut supply, I bet these fat f’s would have a little more concern.

  • If bicyclist would ride single file (if someone is going to slow for you then pass quickly and get back into single file) then maybe people would feel sympathy for them.  Plus if they are going to ride the roads then abide by the laws of the road and stop at stop signs (don’t come up to them, take a look and roll on if nothings coming), and give hand signals when you are turning. I personally wish they would make it illegal to ride bikes on rural rodes where the speed limit is over 55. Common sense and courtesy goes a long way but very seldom do I see it from bicyclist.

  • Kephopalive

    This is not just a NYC problem with cyclists! It’s a problem where I live also. Up to and including the painted the bike lanes(allwrong). You start out in a lane & before you know it the lane changes to a bike lane. Now keep in mind you possible could be on a curve with very little recovery time. If a biker is in the lane also who is the winner the drivernotmoving!

  • Jmdzero

    Richard, The next time someone robs you or tries to put a knife at your throat, don’t call for a stupid fat pig aka the NYPD, call for a cyclist..

  • Jeff Williams

    They’re too busy taking bribes to worry about crimes and laws. Unless you grease thier palms, you’re not going to have much luck. NYC has the worst case solving percentage. Apparently any A-hole guido with a high school diploma can be a cop there.


    Unfortunately bicyclists have a VERY bad reputation in NYC.  Most drive the wrong way on streets.  Most run red lights.  Most don’t wear reflective clothing.  Many don’t wear helmets.  Some ride their bikes on sidewalks.  Until bicylists clean up their act they’ll get very little sympathy from the cops or anyone else.  That does not mean someone should throw thumbtacks down, but not many will be crying for you either.

  • i don’t understand the intentional cruelty behind this act. If bicyclists have their own lane designated to keeping their vehicles out of the roadway of automobiles, why the problem in the first place? Isn’t that exactly what is needed to accomodate BOTH drivers? so why does (the result of thumbtacks in the bike lanes) forcing cyclists BACK INTO the flow of car traffic make sense if the people who drive the car lanes don’t want cyclists intruding into their lanes??? Absolutely moronic people (thumbtack villians) who don’t think and have a self-rightious attitude is all I can see.

  • Ian Turner

    joe: Shouldn’t the same logic apply to motorists, who routinely run red lights and stop signs, fail to signal or yield, and often kill our fellow citizens? Yet something tells me that putting out a device designed to puncture auto tires would get a very different response.

  • Joe

    make them register, license, and insure themselves and their bicycles. abide by all safety features, headlight, brake light, turn signals… etc. and most of all ABIDE BY THE RULES OF THE ROAD!

  • Anonymous

    @facebook-100001657705232:disqus I don’t know any roads with a speed limit over 55 mph where cyclists are allowed (all the roads I know with higher speed limits are controlled access roads). Do you have any examples?

  • Big_sexy

    keep whining, and before you know it there will be 1000’s of taxpayer dollars investing in camera surveillance and security.

  • Michael Coats

    We all know cops are too busy beating unarmed pissed off citizens like the occupy movement.

  • Guest

    Wow!  What brought out all the trolls???

  • Joe R.

    @qrt145:disqus Not in New York State, but in some other states cyclists are allowed on the shoulder of limited access highways, some of which have speed limits as high as 75 mph. Also, I believe there are some two lane state highways out west with speed limits over 55 mph. In NYS though I’ve yet to ride on any road with a posted limit above 50 mph. That includes the one time I accidentally got on the Cross Island Parkway in the 1980s for one exit. I actually hit at least 58 mph during that incident, perhaps more (I only had a chance to glance at my dial speedometer once) because I was drafting a large van.

  • Joe R.

    On the main topic of the article, this is something the police should take very seriously. Suppose a tack doesn’t immediately deflate a tire, but just lodges there? Now suppose later on, perhaps even days later, the cyclist is descending at high speed, then hits a bump which pushes the tack in enough to get a blowout. If it’s the front tire, the consequences could easily be fatal. Sadly, to the NYPD cyclists only exist when you’re under your monthly (supposedly nonexistent) ticket quota.

  • @abb249055208c7af4d35568e422dfd63:disqus We’re getting flooded with traffic from Bing on this one.

  • Dennisaalid

    Just more evidence that big city government Sucks!!!!!  Move to country.  Small town officials are much more friendly and compassionate.

  • Deanroc

    Bike riders are some of the rudest people you will ever encounter on the roadway,I agree ,the squirrels are much more important

  • The next time a cop gets his, I will be glad it wasnt a squirrel being rundown.

  • Gil42

    qrt145  Inthe state of Oregon there are more than one road with speed limits of 65 which are country roads, and just one is Old stage Coach Road which runs from the town of Gold Hill to Jacksonville in souther Oregon and not only do cyclist ride it but they are as dumb as the squirrels and other car drivers, the cyclist ride side by side and on most of this road there are no cycle lanes or shoulder, is that enough of an example for some one who has not got more than a quarter ounce of common sense as to really ask for an example ofr are you just a city dweller?

  • Anonymous

    @024cdbccc8cfb0d5520f1b9f11938ac3:disqus I *did* ask for an example, thank you, so I don’t understand the need for insults. I’ve driven in many states, but I’m not familiar with Oregon country roads. Still, you may note that this is a blog about NYC, so Joe R.’s comment was more informative in that regard.

  • Guest

    @qrt145:disqus it looks like @024cdbccc8cfb0d5520f1b9f11938ac3:disqus is either a troll or an ignorant and irresponsible driver.

    I used to live in Oregon (nowhere near Portland, in case Gil42 gets the notion of trying to misrepresent me as some type of city slicker).  The only roads with a speed limit of 65 mph were the interstate highway system.

    Of course, that could have been changed recently, so I checked the ODOT website:
    The interstate highways remain the only roads with a 65 mph maximum speed; it is illegal to drive faster than 55 mph on Oregon country roads.

    So either Gil42 is thoroughly ignorant of his speed limits, is driving recklessly and taking out his aggression on cyclists who appear to be more law-abiding and have more common sense than himself… or he’s just making stuff up to yank your chain.

  • dangerouself

    “boo effing hoo…”  Really? STEP on a tack while you’re walking, then shed some croc tears, fool.

    So cops don’t have time for vandalism, destruction of private property, or assault?  THOSE are the crimes involved in deliberately tacking bike lanes.

  • StreetsWerePavedForBikes


  • FasterFasterFaster

    I am laughing at the twits and their nonsense about rude bicyclists. Get your fat butt out there and see reality. See that the rude “people” are the ones who cover their laziness with false righteousness. All you have to do is BE THERE, in the bike lane, minding your own business, and the same clown that would run a squirrel over for the fun of it will also be throwing their beer bottle at you, or screaming obscenities at you. And when I catch up to them at the next light, I’ve had as many as FOUR of them be to chicken to step out and face what they’ve got coming to them. Fat. Dumb. Lazy. Rude. Wasteful. Uncaring about anything but their undeserved pride. Do I not hesitate to give their belligerence back to them? You bet.

  • MattM

    Glad I live rural and can recreationally ride in peace, but any thought of commuting to work by bicycle is negated by the reality of drivers not paying attention, which is why my truck has been broadsided and rear ended in the past 3 years. Until bicyclists are given the rights and protections they need, we will continue on our gluttonous, environmentally damaging, overly medicated ways.

  • 4Wheels4RealLife

    A car is a primary, important transportation vehicle; a bicycle is a glorified children’s toy. Sure, on nice days one can occasionally ride it to work but ultimately, it is a form of play. Peop[le in cars have children to get to school, commerce to conduct, and real lives. While it is good the bicyclists in this story are out of the street and not interferring with true life, their little problem with tacks can hardly be considered a great police emergency!

  • Cyclists don’t abide by the traffic rules when it comes to stopping at red lights or weaving in and out of traffic, they pay no fees to keep roads and trails maintained, yet they are to be viewed as an automobile when in traffic and a pedestrian if you run over one of the pieces of shee-it? Good for the Cop and the Tackmaster. I hate bicyclists !

  • guest

    Wang Chung – FYI most people in cars don’t pay enough in taxes on gas or vehicles to come even close to offsetting all the direct and indirect costs of automobiles.  Not that you probably even ever consider those as you plow along in your car wishing you could kill people on bikes.  I assume none of your friends or family ride bikes now or ever did as kids because if so you just called them “pieces of shee-it”.  With that attitude you probably have no friends. 

  • Ian Turner

    Regarding 4Wheels4RealLife: I rate this troll a 2 out of 10. You might be more successful next time if you start out with a reasonable-sounding premise and then switch to insane conclusions somewhere down the line. Read Jonathon Swift for inspiration.

    Regarding Wang Chung: I rate this troll a 3 out of 10, plus a bonus ½ point for getting a response from Guest, for a total of 3.5 points. Starting out with generalizations and often-repeated falsehoods is a good way to get people to think that you are for real. I also enjoyed the Facebook profile photo. However, jumping to murder by the second sentence is to soon. Try it slower next time and you might be more successful.

  • Turn signal lights are usually made to quickly flash on and off to catch attention. The process is made possible by flasher units for incandescent bulbs.

  • I agree with you, that squirrels are much more important. Riders are some of the rudest people you will ever meet on the roadway.

  • Lay the brake drum on a workbench and remove the grease seal and inner bearing from the back of the drum using a screwdriver.


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