Cop to Central Park Cyclists: Your Safety Matters Less Than a Squirrel’s

Let’s say someone who’s tired of cars in Central Park decides to hammer nails through some planks and place them on the park drives. Tires are punctured and a few rear-end collisions cause minor injuries. Would NYPD be as flip as the officer quoted in today’s Post story on the vandal (or vandals) who scattered tacks in the path of park cyclists?

One of the riders reported the carnage to the Central Park Precinct and cops promised to investigate — but sources said there was no official paperwork.

“We have more important things to worry about, like people getting shot and squirrels getting run over,” said one cop. “A flat tire is not the crime of the century.”

To summarize: If you’re a motorist whose car is touched by a pedestrian or cyclist whom you almost run over, NYPD is at your service. If you’re a cyclist who crashes to the pavement because of a malicious malcontent, cops are otherwise occupied seeking justice for dead squirrels.

Perhaps the department’s Accident Investigation Squad could use a new handle. Assisting Injured Squirrels? Already Investigating Squirrels?

Nice to know they’re investigating something.

ALSO ON STREETSBLOG

NYPD: Riding Faster Than 15 MPH in Central Park Now Illegal

|
NYPD’s apparent bid to criminalize recreational cycling in Central Park took another surreal turn this morning. One week after hundreds of people asked police to stop the irrational barrage of red light tickets for cyclists in the park, NYPD has apparently doubled down on its bike enforcement blitz. Cycling message boards lit up today with […]

A Tale of Intimidation From the NYPD Bike Crackdown

|
A week after NYPD announced that the agency will be stepping up its enforcement of cyclists, stories are starting to trickle in to our inbox and the comments section about encounters with cops on bike detail. Reader Greg, who asked to go by his first name only, wrote in to share his experience in Central […]